The Stallion Van

I finally dug into some of my old video footage from my teenage years and edited the van jumping video.

Where Did The Van Come From:
During our senior year in high school, my buddies and I went to an auction fundraiser for our high school. We were all set to pool our money together to win something, we just didn’t know what. We quickly got out-bid for the moped/motorcycle and nothing else seemed worthy of our money. Then they announced that the hospital had donated a 1980 GMC cargo van; an old van they used to transport laundry and linens. We instantly became dedicated to win that thing. Our excitement to win the van was apparent to all the other people at the auction that they quickly stopped bidding when they saw that we were serious about owning that van. For $300 we won the auction and became owners (seven of us) of what soon became known as the “Stallion Wagon.”

What’s With The Paint Job:
We wanted to personalize the van just as much on the outside as we did in the inside. We drove it over to Creed Cardon’s garage and went to work. After spot-painting the van with white spray paint to cover up the countless rust marks all over the outside of the van, we busted out the masking tape, newspaper, and a lot of blue spray paint to create the thick blue line that went all around the van. Then using a stencil we created from a large roll of construction paper, we sprayed on our insignia. W.S. stands for Wild Stallions, the name we call our group of friends…rightfully poached from the movie Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Around the W.S. is the phrase “United we stand. Divided we fall.” We adopted this phrase from the Dropkick Murphy’s song called Boys On The Docks. 

What Did It Look Like Inside:
After cleaning out the inside of the van, we sprayed a thick layer of anti-rust rubber paint on the floor and laid down some sheets of plywood that were lined with carpet. To maximize the seating capacity and comfortably inside the van, we put in a very large sectional couch—“Big Brown”—that we obtained for free from a friend. Simple, yet very comfortable and chill.

How Did We Decide To Jump The Van:
We were a group of teenage boys that lived in Rexburg, ID—a location that requires you to have the imagination and ambition to find entertainment where it might not normally exist. As usual, we all gathered at Tyson’s house one evening with nothing to do. Now that we were co-owners of a van, we decided we go cruise around until something presented itself—usually we resorted to tormenting the college students. My ex-girlfriend had previously introduced us to some speed bumps up on “the hill” in Rexburg where you can easily catch air if you drive 45 mph though them, regardless of the 25 mph speed limit. With a video camera in hand and some pointless costumes, we set out to have a dumb-fun experience. 

Did We Get Caught:
After getting our fill of jumping the van almost to death—catching enough air to cause pain in your spine each time the van would crash back down to the ground—we decided to put a pin in that activity and do something else. But before we exited the neighborhood up on “the hill,” we decided to jump the van one more time, and this time it would be on the mother-of-all-speed-bumps. This particular speed bump was located just above Zack’s house on a steep hill. Not only was the speed bump big, but the angle of the hill allowed you to experience bigger and longer hang-time than those on the flat roads. With only one car in site, safely distanced from us at the end of the road and the bottom of the hill, we shot for the speed bump and defied gravity for the last time that night. However, we soon realized that the only car in site happened to be a cop car that clocked us going 45-50 mph on a 25 mph road. As I was the driver, I was pulled out of the car—wearing a crash-test-dummie costume—and given a lecture and a $108 speeding ticket.

How Did We Get Away With It:
Well, we didn’t get away with it from the cops, but we did succeed in sliding it past our parents. In order to make it so that the ticket didn’t get put on my record and have it affect my parent’s insurance, I signed up for a defensive driving class that waived the accountability of the ticket—leaving use still with the obligation of paying off the $108 ticket. We devised a two-part plan: First, we piggybacked our upcoming punk band concert to hold a “Save The Van” fundraiser where set up a TV and money jar at the ticket table and continuously played a VHS tape of the van jumping footage and asked for donations. Second, we went up to the college campus and visited all the female apartments where we told them our sob-story, played them the VHS tape, and asked them to donate any spare change they could to help us save the van and our only means of entertainment. It wasn’t long before we had all the funds we needed to pay off the ticket…plus some extra to buy us a pizza to celebrate our success.

Where Is The Van Now:
After many awesome experiences with that van (camping out in the high school parking lot, cruising town, finding fresh baked cookies in the hood-ornament, etc), we handed it down to my brother and his band of friends while we all went off to serve two-year religious missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Upon returning home, we reclaimed the van and quickly found that it was on its last leg. As the avid snowboarders that we were, we decided that the proper way to bury a vehicle like this was to donate it to the local ski resort as a park-toy for snowboarders to jib and slide. Where it is now…I do not know.

Do you have any memories of the Stallion Van? If so, share them with us in the comment section below.